What If
by Rouge.Cagalli
Summary: Mwu returns after two years expecting to find everything and everyone still the same. Much to his dismay, things have changed. Read and Review onegai!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This is a songfic dedicated to the Mwu x Murrue pairing. The song is Baby face's "What If". Now the disclaimers, I don't own Gundam Seed or the song nor do I have any affiliations with their respective makers.

What if the love you left was the love that was supposed to stay?

**What If?**

Mwu x Murrue

Mwu LaFlaga heaved a sigh. It has been more two years since he last had any contact with anyone from work. Mwu left his colleagues without any warning. He just felt he had to find himself. Little did he know that the very thing he was searching for could only be found in the place he left.

He ran into Natarle Badgiruel in an al fresco coffee shop and from the way she looked, nothing has changed. His former-colleague still looked stern, with her short, black hair and pursed lips. They found a table for two in a breezy spot and each ordered a cup of coffee. Natarle still had that commanding voice that would boom in his ears whenever he did something 'risky'. Yes, Natarle will always be Natarle. It made him wonder all the more, did he miss _anything_ at all the whole time he was gone?

"So how's everyone?" he began, propping his elbows on the table.

Natarle was quick to reply, "Good. Everyone's doing fine."

Mwu was a bit disappointed on her answer. He wanted her to fill him up on the two years he missed, but much more, he wanted her to tell him how Murrue has been since he left. But with Natarle answering, he could only expect nothing more than the dullest answers, so he pushed through, "Is Murrue doing well?"

Natarle shifted her eyes from him to his left side. He turned to look as well. It was the waiter arriving with their order. They paused for a while as the man laid down the two cups of coffee and left with nothing more than the tray.

"She's doing great," she finally replied. "She just bought a new house away from the compound, and now she's living there with her husband."

The last few words rang in Mwu's ears like violent cymbals. It hurt a lot. Somehow, to him, the words didn't seem right. He didn't know the reason why it felt that way. Maybe it was just his ego injured because his ex-girlfriend moved on so easily. But at the back of his head, there was a voice telling him that it was because of the fact that after all this time, he was still in love with Murrue and he regretted leaving her side.

"That's great," he said, faking a smile. Being the man that he was, he could never show how weak he felt with the news she told him. "But hey…"

Natarle was sipping her coffee, and when she heard his hanging sentence, she looked up to meet his eyes. "Yes?" she cut herself from her drink.

"Does…" Mwu stuttered. "Does she… Does Murrue ever ask about me?"

The black-haired woman quickly shifted her gaze from his eyes, back to her coffee cup. She rolled the contents of the cup from side to side. Indeed, she looked as though she did not enjoy the conversation they were having. "Mwu, I already told you that she's doing well. She's living with her husband and she's happy… without you. Just let her stay that way. I'm sure it'd be the most sensible decision you'll ever do."

Mwu ran a hand through his hair. How could he be so stupid to ask that kind of question? Murrue is happy even without him, and his trying to unearth their past could ruin it all. But despite that, he couldn't help but wonder what could've been if he hadn't gone away. Could she have been happier?

_**I ran into a friend of yours this other day**_

_**And I asked her how you've been**_

_**She said my girl is fine, just bought a house**_

_**Got a job, a real good man**_

_**I told her I was glad for you, that's wonderful**_

_**But does she ever ask about me**_

_**She said she's happy with her life right now**_

_**Let her go, let her be**_

_**And I told myself I would,**_

_**But something in my heart just would not let you go**_

_**I just wanna know…**_

There was a long spell of silence between the two former-colleagues, and it was driving Mwu nuts. But as much as he wanted to somehow change the atmosphere, he couldn't find any other words to say. After a few more sighs and sips of coffee, Natarle finally found something else to talk about…

"So from the two years you've been out of reach," she began. "Is there someone special in your life now?"

Mwu faked another smile, "No one in particular… there's Mwu LaFlaga, The Hawk of Endymion, and most especially, the man who takes pride in making the impossible possible."

"Funny," Natarle scoffed. "You're still the same man we knew. Still opt to making witty replies..."

"You bet," the blond said. "I'm still the same. Same looks, same attitude, and same dreams… dreams of her. I still do so, you know…"

"Enough of that, Mwu," she said, placing her cup on the table with more force than it'd usually take. "I want Murrue to be happy, and I'm sure you want that too. Murrue _is_ happy with her husband and their son. Do her a favor, and stop meddling."

"I know, I know," Mwu said, lightly hitting his head with the boney part of his wrist. He willed himself to stop thinking about Murrue, but the more he tried, the more memories of her flood back to him. "But I have to admit… I still love her, Natarle. I still love Murrue… and now, all I want is too see her… just see her. I don't care if she doesn't remember me. I don't even care if she doesn't see me."

_**Your friend asked me if there was someone special**_

_**In my life that I was seeing**_

_**I told her there was no one in particular**_

_**There's just I, myself, and me**_

_**I told her that I dream of you quite often**_

_**She just cut her eyes at me**_

_**She said you got a home, you're very happy**_

_**So just stop your meddling**_

_**I told her that I would**_

_**I said thing were cool but I guess I was wrong**_

**_I still can't move on…_**

Natarle expected that she would have a hard time talking Mwu out of his nostalgia, but after their conversation, she concluded that it was impossible to do so. She finally gave up, laid some loose change to pay for her bill, and left him alone with the words, "I don't know if I can say anything more to make you give up, but I guess I can do something to make you see my point."

After thinking it through, he still couldn't figure what she meant by her last words. Was that some sort of riddle? _Nah,_ Mwu told himself. Natarle isn't the type. What did she mean? He was about to leave when he noticed a small card amidst the money that Natarle left.

_She's must've not noticed this while she picked some change from her wallet. That Natarle… _he said to himself. Mwu picked the card up and was nonplussed by what it was: neat and cursive handwriting in red ink, it read _"Natarle, come visit some time. We'd love to have you here. Your good friend, Murrue_." And right below the note was an address.

Mwu stared at the address steadily, still quite skeptical. Was this really happening? Just when he was wishing to see his beloved Murrue… there it was… a card with her address in it. Or could this be just a trick Natarle was playing at him? But it can't be… he knew Murrue's handwriting all too well, and the handwriting on the card was definitely hers.

_Am I going to see her again?_ He asked himself. _Am I really going to see my Murrue again?_ Mwu clutched the card and smiled. _If I am, thank you, Natarle…_

A month later, Mwu found himself standing before a two-storey house. It was quite big, with its seven windows and double-doors. The pearl-white paint on it seemed new, as well as the maroon roof tiles. On one of the maple doors was the number 16 plated in gold. The lawn seemed newly mowed and the shrubs growing, freshly watered. Indeed, it was the vision of the perfect house. It was Murrue's house. Yes, hers and her husband's.

_So this is it…_ Mwu said to himself, staring. He made for the door to ring but found it pointless as he didn't intend to let Murrue know that he's around. After all, he just wanted to see her, not talk to her.

Mwu spent quite some time walking forward and then back, undecided if he was going to ring the doorbell. Then, he finally decided to push through. Mustering every ounce of courage in him, Mwu made for the door and rang the doorbell. It made a long buzz sound, followed by complete silence.

_There's no turning back now, _he thought. _After a few moments, I'll be hearing her voice again… Murrue's voice._

But that 'few moments' was took longer than he'd expected. In fact, he has been standing in front of the door for minutes and still there was no voice or footsteps approaching.

Mwu started to feel dumb. There he was standing by the door of someone he didn't even intend to see. So what on earth was he doing there? Then it hit him, Natarle's parting words…

"_I don't know if I can say anything more to make you give up_

_but I guess I can do something to make you see my point."_

And he finally did. He finally saw her point. No matter how much he wanted to bring the past back, together with Murrue's love, he couldn't. It was too late for him and his love for her. As Natarle has been saying to him, Murrue is already happy without him. How could he be so selfish as to ruin that happiness for her?

_There you have it, Mwu_, he told himself. _Natarle's point… she's not coming back 'coz you returned too late. Now she's happy and I'm just---_

"M-Mwu?"

He felt his heart stop beating. That voice… that familiar voice… could it be..? Mwu turned around to see, though he already knew who it was, still he had to make sure he wasn't just dreaming.

Wavy brown hair tied in a loose ponytail on the side. Marigold eyes shining like topazes against the late-afternoon sunlight. Creamy skin neither unblemished nor aged by time. Cherry-pink lips at a loss for words. It was the vision of the woman who has been haunting his days and nights alone for more than two years now. It was none other than Murrue Ramius.

His memories of her flooded back to him, drowning him in a deluge of the times they spent in the Archangel. The kisses stolen from each other. The warm embraces beneath the sunlight. And the love they promised would be forever.

Mwu found it difficult to begin. What was he to say? That he was glad to see her again? Of course, he is. But much more than that, he wanted to tell her how much he still loves her and how much he regretted leaving her. But before he could even open his mouth to speak, Mwu heard an unfamiliar, indistinct voice. Like that of a child's.

Only then did he notice that Murrue was carrying a child, a boy, in her arms. He was no more than a year old, with the same brown hair as hers. His eyes, however, were tinted bright amber, definitely not Murrue's. The child stared at Mwu and then laughed. He then remembered Natarle mention that she already has a son with her husband.

"Your kid?" Mwu asked her, trying his best to sound happy though deep inside, his heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest from all the pain he was feeling.

_If only I had stayed, Murrue,_ he told himself. _If only I hadn't left you…then I could have been the father of that boy. And we could have been happy together. _

Murrue nodded and cradled the boy in her arms and took a deep breath. "Well, it wouldn't be right for us to talk here outside. Come inside, Mwu. I'll get us something to eat," she said happily.

_**Now that could be my car**_

_**That could be my house**_

_**That could be my baby boy you're nursing**_

_**That could be the trash that I always take out**_

_**That could be the chair that I love to chill in**_

_**That could be my food at the table at the end of the day**_

_**Hugs and the kisses, all the love we made**_

_**What the hell do you expect me to say?**_

_**What if it isn't supposed to be this way?**_

_**What if you're really supposed to be with me?**_

Mwu felt as though he had been on a very long trance and the sound of Murrue's voice had him restored. He snapped out of it, and returned the smile with a reply, "Uhh… Sorry to say but I can't stay long. I just wanted to check up on you."

The brunette frowned at his reply, "Oh… okay. Well, we'll be going inside now."

Murrue turned her away from him and made for the door. Mwu just stared at her, not knowing what to feel. Everything happened all too sudden. Everything felt so quick. It was all a blur to him… yes, a blur of emotions: from love to anticipation, from anticipation to dismay, from dismay to surprise, and from surprise to a mixture of regret and languish.

Mwu had no idea what else to do and so he started his way towards the street. He felt quite satisfied with his decision not to accept her offer. It was the most sensible thing to do, as what Natarle has said. For if he continues to see Murrue, he might not be able to restrain himself from holding her close and not letting her go.

He turned to look at her one last time as she was to grab something (the doorkey) from her pocket. It was proving to be difficult since she was carrying her son. Murrue struggled to reach for her side pocket while the baby boy played around her arms.

The blond ran to her rescue and held out his arms to her, "Here, I'll hold him for you."

Murrue looked at him in a very strange way. It was a mixture of surprise and hesitation, "Oh… okay. Thank you."

Much to his surprise, the child immediately reached out to Mwu's arms, as though he actually wanted Mwu to carry him. Murrue was quite appalled at how her son gestured to come with him.

"Uhh… shouldn't you be getting the key now?" Mwu said, still cradling the boy.

Murrue snapped out of her senses and resumed searching. She put a hand on her pocket and pulled out its contents but there was no key. Another pocket, and still nothing. "Where could that be?"

"You lost the key?" he asked her.

Murrue was now lifting the big welcome rug in front of the door, "I think so, yeah. Could you hold him for a while? I have to search for the key."

"Sure," he said to her and then he turned to the baby in his arms, smiling. "I'll be carrying you for a while since your mommy's trying to find your key."

Mwu looked around the doorstep and found something shiny not far from Murrue's left foot. He held the boy closer to him and then ducked to pick the shiny thing up, but as he was about to grab hold of it, Murrue grabbed it first. Their hands overlapped each other's. Both adults flushed bright red. Mwu was lost once more in a deluge of memories. Her hand beneath his… that feeling felt so familiar, it was almost as if it was only yesterday that it last happened.

"Uhh… I have it," Murrue took the key and stood up hastily. "Thanks for helping me find it."

Mwu awoke from his daydreams and found himself standing by her side. "Uhh… sure. No problem-o. Here's your baby," he returned the child back to the arms of his mother.

"Thanks, Mwu," Murrue said gratefully after finally fitting the key to the door's keyhole. "Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay?"

Mwu opened the door for her, "Uh-huh. I just wanted to see how you've been all these years."

Murrue smiled at him, "I'm doing… great. Just great. My husband's a good man and I love this baby so much."

"I can see that," he replied. "Now, I gotta go… Goodbye." And with those words, he left.

Mwu didn't look back. He didn't have the courage to do so. He walked straight ahead, not knowing that as he made for the street, Murrue saw him through all the way before entering the house.

She closed the door behind her and held out a finger to her baby boy with a weak smile, "Now what do you want for dinner, baby Mwu?"

_What if we were wrong about each other?_

_What if you were really made for me?_

_What if we were supposed to be together?_

_Wouldn't that mean anything?_

_What if that was supposed to be my house that you go home to everyday?_

_How can you be sure that things are better?_

_If you can't be sure your heart ain't still you and me?_

_Still wanting me…_

_**FIN**_


	2. No, I Don't Want You To Go

**A/N:** This is the next part of my Mwu x Murrue songfic series. The featured song is Angela Bofill's "I Don't Want You To Go". LOL. I'm going vintage for this chapter. As I always say, I don't own Gundam Seed and this song, nor do I have any affiliations with their respective owners.

After two years of loneliness, the love you lost came back…

So will you still let him go?

**No, I Don't Want You To Go**

Mwu x Murrue

Murrue closed the door behind her, cradling her beloved son in one arm. He was still smiling. Little did the child know that he had just met the man from whom his name was gotten… all out his mother's love for that man. Murrue beamed at her son. She loved his smile too. It reminded her greatly of _his _smile, so warm and infectious. But wait… she can't be thinking of Mwu. She's already married, and the boy she was carrying… it was her son.

That man… the man who she loved and lost… she couldn't be thinking of him. It was wrong. But at the back of her head, she wondered _why should it be wrong if it felt so right?_ She looked at the child Mwu, who was staring intently at her, as though trying to fathom what was in her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, my love," she said to her baby. "I can't be thinking of _him_… Please tell me it's wrong."

The child just smiled at her, and then reached for the closed door, as if he wanted the man who cradled him in his arms back again. He made indistinct sounds whilst he continued reaching for the door.

"Please, don't do that… don't look for him," Murrue pleaded to her son, as though he could understand what she was saying. "He's gone now… Yes, he's gone."

A part of Murrue thought it was the right thing to do. To erase Mwu from her memories and continue living her life as Mrs. Waltfeld, wife of Andrew Waltfeld. To mother her son to him. To do things normally, as she used to do just yesterday. However, the more she forced herself to think of reasons to forget LaFlaga, the more memories flood back to her, telling her otherwise.

**Here I am, alone and I don't understand**

**Exactly how it all began**

**The dream just walked away**

**I'm holding on, when all but the passion's gone**

She made her way to the living room and placed Baby Mwu in his play pen. The baby sat and played with his toys… toy airplanes. He grabbed one plane in particular, one that was painted white and blue, and lifted it up to the air, laughing.

Murrue smiled, "You're just like him, Mwu. He loved to fly as well."

Two years have passed since war broke out. She and LaFlaga were on the same side, and together they fought for their beliefs… that people, different they may be, can live in harmony, side by side.

"_Don't worry," he reassured her. "I'll come back with victory at hand."_

Yes, theirs was a dream so ambitious, but nonetheless, they attained it. They were victorious in the end… and that was when _he _left. Without warning. Without even saying goodbye. Without a single word. He just disappeared with not even a trace or clue on where he was going.

Mwu LaFlaga, her beloved Hawk of Endymion, left her in tears. She thought she would die from all the loneliness she felt. Day and night, she cried, holding onto his promises of returning.

"_I'll return, Murrue. Your arms are my home now…"_

Though she found it almost impossible to forget _"the man who can make the impossible possible"_, still she pushed herself to do it. Wading through memories of their past love wouldn't get her anywhere. She had to move on. Mwu must have, for he did not even thought of contacting her. And so Murrue decided to forget all about him, with only the consolation that maybe someday, when they see each other again, they'd be smiling as friends.

**And here was time when they ignored the cause inside**

**And they learn from what's left behind**

**And fight for something else**

**And so it goes, when we have both learned how to grow**

Andrew Waltfeld, who was also their comrade-in-arms, comforted Murrue all throughout her trying times. He was there for her during those nights she'd cry herself to sleep, as well as those days when she'd drift off and fall into a trance of recollections of Mwu. He'd watch her sob her pains away, just patting her back and hoping it'd soothe her.

"_Hush, now," he'd tell her everytime she'd cry. "Tomorrow's going to be much better… so please stop crying."_

Murrue trusted Andrew, as much as she was thankful to him for practically saving her from her loneliness. Yes, he breathed life anew to her sunken soul. He gave her reason to smile, even for just a little. Reason to live again, if not for Mwu, but for all those who did not leave her side. Reason to trust, despite the fact that her heart has been shattered into a million pieces when LaFlaga left. And for all that, Murrue was grateful to Andrew…

Not long after she had finally locked up her memories of LaFlaga, Andrew asked for her hand in marriage, promising her TRUE FOREVER, the one that was sure to last. Promising her that he will never ever leave her side. That he would do everything in his power to make her happy. That he would protect her always in the way that LaFlaga was not able to do. In return for all of those, Murrue promised herself that she'd do her best to be happy with Andrew. That she'd live up to the expectations from a good wife. That she'd forget all about Mwu. And with those promises, they were married.

**But it's just too much, taking on this whole world all by myself**

**But it's not enough, unless I start trusting somebody else**

**Somebody else and love again**

Murrue stood by the window, right beside Mwu's play pen. The sunset was entrancing, that no matter how busy she was, she'd just have to stop and behold it. She watched the sun slowly but surely descend into the vast horizon It shined bright gold, tainting the heavens amber.

She remembered one time, when she was staring at the sunset alone. She prayed fervently that Mwu would disappear from her mind, just as the sun disappears from the day. When the hurt of his loss went away, Murrue thought that her prayer was answered. She was happy.

But now, after seeing Mwu again after two long years, she realized that she hadn't forgotten all about him, not at all. It was just that all the memories were locked up inside her, just awaiting the right time to resurface.

_Foolish me,_ Murrue said to herself smiling weakly. _After all these years, only now have I realized that he hasn't gone. He had stayed all this time… here, inside of me. And no, I don't want him to leave… _

She looked at her son, who was now staring at her, the toy airplane still in one hand. Murrue stooped and held him close. She enveloped his tiny body in one lingering embrace, almost imagining that it was LaFlaga she was holding. _I don't want you to go, Mwu… so please, don't ever go._

**And from the start, maybe I was trying too hard**

**It's crazy 'coz it's breaking my heart**

**Things can fall apart but I know**

**That I don't want you… say that you won't go…**

_**To be continued**_

* * *

**Blanche's Post-Scripts:**Whew, CHAPTER FINISHED! (throws confetti everywhere and sings utter nonsense) I'd like to note to you guys that this one took me a whole three hours to finish! LOL. Now for my acknowledgements, I'd like to thank the dreaded silence of my house for giving me enough.. well, err.. silence to think this over. My cheesy MP3s for giving me enough fluff to make this fluffy chapter. Everyone for not calling/texting me, thus giving me time to concentrate on this. (LOL. Trivia: I didn't attend our rehearsal for our production, which was also our finals, just so I'd be able to make a chapter!)

Last few itsy-bitsy notes… NO, MURRUE-SAN IS NOT A PAEDOPHILE. Some of you guys might be thinking this because of the last part, but no, she's a woman. She just did that 'coz hey, she named her son after Mwu 'coz she loved him very much, but not to the extent that she'd think Baby Mwu was a replacement! That'd be icky. LOL. And the Andrew Waltfeld part… yeah, he's her husband. Why? 'Coz there hasn't been any other guy involved with her than the Desert Tiger. I know it'd unimaginable to see Andrew saying those sort of comforting words, and promising Murrue all this and that, buy hey, it's a fanfic! Read and review, people! I hope I'd be able to make a few more chapters 'coz I've already thought of a VERY good song for the ending chapter! Love&Peace


	3. Heart of Mine

**A/N:** This is the long-awaited third chapter of _What If_, a songfic series dedicated to Mwu La Flaga and Murrue Ramius of Gundam SEED. In this chapter, the featured song is called_ "Heart of Mine"_, a ballad by Side A. This is mainly about Mwu's contemplations of Murrue. How could he be so stupid so as to give her up?

**Disclaimers:** I don't own Gundam SEED, or the featured song, nor am I affiliated in any way with their respective owners.

**No One Can Mend You Now**

Mwu x Murrue

Mwu walked aimlessly, still contemplating on the events that occurred that afternoon. A month ago, he returned to town, after two years of being MIA. He came back thinking that everything was still the same way as he left them. Apparently, he was wrong. Not everything stayed the same.

He stopped by a vending machine, caught a crumpled bill from the left-hand pocket of his pants, and then pressed the button for hot, black coffee. It was almost eleven in the evening, and it was getting colder. Still he felt nothing like going back to his hotel room to sleep. He wanted to stay awake for as long as he can, and think of what the heck he did wrong to deserve this.

The blond was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that the vending machine had already finished producing his coffee. The buzzer sounded off, telling him to get his darned cup.

After fetching his beverage, Mwu decided to sit in the park bench nearby. The streetlamps were illuminated everything in the street, from the candy wrappers lying on the floor, to the trashcan right beside it, the people passing by, probably on their way home from work, to the fool sitting on the bench and drinking his coffee. Most were couples who were holding hands as they strolled passed the idiot of a blonde who had the girl of his dreams but chose to go on his way alone.

Yes, Murrue loved him very much, as he did her. They loved each other, with a love that blossomed in the time and place where it was least expected to do so. If only he had stayed with her, they would have ended up together, of that, Mwu was sure. So what the heck was he thinking, going off somewhere and leaving the person he loved most just like that?

_Maybe it was because I thought she'd never make it without me, _Mwu answered the question his mind had just asked him. _I knew she was strong, I never doubted that. But I never realized that she was strong enough to shun her feelings for me. You _ARE_ an idiot, Mwu._

_**One day, you may find true love that will last forever and ever  
'Til then you'll spend a lifetime wishing one together  
You never thought she'd say goodbye,  
and you will never understand the reasons why…**_

Murrue is indeed strong, he knew that for a fact. She was decisive, level-headed, and smart. Mwu loved that with her. She always knew what to do, even when things go crazy around her. It only pains Mwu to realize that she found the cure to her loneliness in the arms of someone else.

He took another sip of coffee, and the hot, black fluid ran through his throat, warming him up from his insides. Mwu remembered how he would hug Murrue when it gets cold. And how she would turn red every time he'd ask her if she's feeling okay inside him embrace. And it almost broke his heart all over again to remember how Murrue would hug him back, in an effort to keep him warm as well.

Mwu looked up at the dark night skies. Nothing else was in sight, but black clouds. Somehow, the stars and the moon must have gotten lost in the heavy shroud. _God, I miss her, _Mwu said quietly. _I miss her voice, her touch, her smell… everything._

After savoring the flood of memories, a question popped out of Mwu's head: _Does she miss me too? _And with that, a horde more followed. _What happened to her after I've gone? How did she end up marrying someone else? Was she happy? She sure looked like it… but if I hadn't left, would she have been happier? _

All those questions floated about in Mwu's head, tormenting him. His head started to ache, and so he rubbed his fingers against his temples, in an attempt to soothe the pain. And he started to remember how Murrue would do this to him, whenever he's stressed out.

"_Just organize your thoughts first,"_ she would tell him. _"That way you'd be able to see through all the complexities. You might find out that the answer to the problem's so obvious and simple, you just overlooked it."_

And he would look up at her, and smirk, _"I believe that's my line. You're the one who's always stressed, with all those responsibilities in running this whole thing. You might end up looking older than I am!"_

Murrue would hit him jokingly, and he would catch her arms and wrap her up in a warm embrace. This was always the scenario between them. Mwu would crack up a joke to break Murrue's serious tone, and she would retort. Then he would gather her up and never let her go for a good few minutes.

But those times are done for the two of them. Murrue is already someone else's wife. And his are the temples she soothes now, not Mwu's. Never can be Mwu's. Never again. The blonde realized this and felt a sharp pain in his chest, right through his heart. It was as though a thorn had been stabbed in him, and he couldn't do a thing to pull it out.

_Geeez, Mwu, stop it already, _he said to himself, hitting his head with the balls of his hands. _You can NEVER ever go back to those times! She's found someone else better than you. And no matter how much you try to think of a solution, you'll always be the one she left behind, not the other way around._

_**Love plays cruel games,  
You can't believe she's found another lover  
Does she miss me?  
Sometimes you just can't help but wonder  
No, you can't hold the hands of time  
And you will always be the one she left behind…**_

Admitting the bitter truth to himself made Mwu's heart wrench. He felt like someone was corkscrewing it out of his chest. He placed a hand against his heart and felt it beat slowly and sadly, as though it had lost its will to live. Mwu took another sip of his coffee to warm himself up, but still a cold feeling within lingers. He tried to think of happy thoughts to console himself, but to no avail. Murrue was the sweetest and happiest memory he has ever had, and now she belongs to someone else.

_Just stop thinking about her, Mwu, _he said in thoughts. _It'll all work out fine, you always make it out of tight situations. You're the man who can make the impossible possible, for crying out loud. _

But no matter how much he tries to forget, the picture of Murrue flashes through his mind, refusing to be erased. Questions flooded his mind about her, though he knew he'd never have the answers to them.

_Hell, it's just no use, _he finally confessed. _She's the only cure to this._

Mwu took a last lingering sip of his black coffee, draining the cup of any traces. He crushed the cup and threw it at the nearby trash can. He looked up at the post lamp just a few meters away, and struggled to stare at the light, without blinking or squinting, but he failed. He realized that it was kind of like what he was going through at that exact moment.

There's just no getting over her. There's just no way he could stare at the bright light without blinking. And only then did he become man enough to admit it. He may be ready to face the fact that Murrue can't be his now, but he's still unprepared to get over her. The pain is still there. And not even bright lights, nice thoughts, or hot black coffee could console him. Nothing and no one could mend him.

_**Heart of mine, how can you keep from dying?  
Stop reminiscing, who is she kissing?  
Heart of mine, oh what's the use in trying?  
No one can mend you know…**_

**Blanchie's Notes:**

Yay! I've finished the third chapter!!! I'd like to apologize to my readers for having been gone for quite a while. I've been quite busy with my studies and all. I do hope I haven't lost my touch. Please, to all my readers old and new, review this and tell me if I still have what it takes to strum your heartstrings with my songfics. Comments will be very much welcomed, and I'll reply to each one when I find the time to do so. Thanks for still reading my fics… (hugs readers)

** MIA** – missing in action, an abrupt disappearance.


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